i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2