Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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