Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...

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  (407): i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina... http://tfl.nu/9yjk
  Replies (15) Good night (2860) Bad night (557)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..

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  (610): question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused.. http://tfl.nu/1zv2
  Replies (42) Good night (700) Bad night (4458)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?

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  (732): last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night? http://tfl.nu/rkjl
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (835)
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  (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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  (510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3
  Replies (10) Good night (3673) Bad night (907)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  smell my finger.

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  (612): smell my finger. http://tfl.nu/i0ta
  Replies (80) Good night (1614) Bad night (5062)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.

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  (972): Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip. http://tfl.nu/klsb
  Replies (50) Good night (602) Bad night (6820)
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  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2440) Bad night (7163)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero

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  (859): Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/5voz
  Replies (9) Good night (4770) Bad night (1474)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (4996) Bad night (1983)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"

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  (412): I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this" http://tfl.nu/4n5n
  Replies (29) Good night (1625) Bad night (5193)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?

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  (303): Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week? http://tfl.nu/361o
  Replies (12) Good night (4005) Bad night (680)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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  (724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k
  Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (1334)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?

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  (425): What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/30k4
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (249)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.

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  (520): it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off. http://tfl.nu/1ls6
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (217)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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  (610): And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke http://tfl.nu/9l8b
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (601)

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