I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just tell him i said nine months
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high