when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
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The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ