a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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