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In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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