i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
