Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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