Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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