I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
