I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
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he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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