Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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