I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
