I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
