I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
