he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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