Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When are your genitals available?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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