My friends, they love my intelligence
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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