I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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