It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
