honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
