the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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