You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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