Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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