just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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