I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize