I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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