I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
