Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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