i permit you to call me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
