Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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