ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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