i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
