We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
