so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
