she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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