The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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