It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
