Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
