if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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