So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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