Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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