I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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