Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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