I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish I only lived at night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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