I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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