have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
