SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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