Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
