first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
