Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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