Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize