brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
