***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
