shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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