She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
