What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize