did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
