Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
