the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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