Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

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  (917): I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home. http://tfl.nu/cetg
  Replies (3) Good night (1407) Bad night (605)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them

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  (603): theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them http://tfl.nu/ul8u
  Replies (81) Good night (4179) Bad night (1601)
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  (347): View more from New York

  she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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  (347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (3778)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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  (804): IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT http://tfl.nu/e7uf
  Replies (40) Good night (9501) Bad night (1662)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden

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  (617): Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden http://tfl.nu/88jg
  Replies (7) Good night (3904) Bad night (887)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

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  (770): The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com http://tfl.nu/sswj
  Replies (38) Good night (1350) Bad night (3166)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1623) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.

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  (803): I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/ijqd
  Replies (14) Good night (2961) Bad night (1211)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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  (352): You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time. http://tfl.nu/k82l
  Replies (10) Good night (2486) Bad night (724)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.

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  (201): A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns. http://tfl.nu/v0at
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (574)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.

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  (+61): You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette. http://tfl.nu/8wqd
  Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.

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  (601): Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/qsk4
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (1183)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

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  (303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp
  Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.

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  (208): The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med. http://tfl.nu/j1ow
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (322)

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