Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I love you (720): are you drunk (440): yes but I def love you, we should get married (720): But I'm Jewish (440): embrace Jesus http://tfl.nu/v32c
  Replies (9) Good night (2978) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aren't all three of those the same though?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it? (504): Aren't all three of those the same though? http://tfl.nu/bg7f
  Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  VAGINAS EVERYWHERE

  (804): View more from Virginia

  they're staring at me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): VAGINAS EVERYWHERE (804): they're staring at me http://tfl.nu/jqj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way" http://tfl.nu/67ib
  Replies (8) Good night (4494) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting? http://tfl.nu/ew93
  Replies (29) Good night (5011) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink. http://tfl.nu/g05p
  Replies (90) Good night (2475) Bad night (3938)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them. http://tfl.nu/3lq3
  Replies (18) Good night (5812) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade. http://tfl.nu/fybc
  Replies (77) Good night (641) Bad night (7314)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship http://tfl.nu/kphu
  Replies (13) Good night (1834) Bad night (3756)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say. http://tfl.nu/8sw1
  Replies (20) Good night (701) Bad night (9444)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice. http://tfl.nu/vxzt
  Replies (3) Good night (2088) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude. http://tfl.nu/sk5p
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!" http://tfl.nu/scid
  Replies (12) Good night (1447) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking. (306): There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol http://tfl.nu/d3jk
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (257)

Randomize