First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine