No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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