Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont even know how to be here
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
