If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
handjob tips. give me some.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.