You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
