...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
