dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
